I honestly can’t even imagine what it’s like right now for you. All I can do is pray for you and sympathize. I may not be really close with you guys but you guys are the sweetest, most genuine family I know. You never have a negative attitude and always leave me in a positive note. I know it must be hard to go to school and fight back the tears but I hope you know that you guys are in my prayers and I’m always here for you guys. Brynn, you are a true fighter and you’re so strong. I am encouraged by the way you carry yourself and genuinely care for others. I’m always here for you. Mitch, where do I begin… I still remember the day where we were assigned seats next to each other in 2nd grade. You are always encouraging other and have the best sportsmanship I have ever seen. You never put a teammate down. I am amazed how strong you are. Just looking at you for the first time since the news brings me to tears. I don’t know why but knowing that its your birthday too and how strong you are just amazes me. Even though I wanted to say more, I had to hold back my tears. I don’t know what kind of relationship you had with him but any loss is painful and I really do admire you for that.
You guys are honestly so strong. You guys really made me realize how important it is to spend time with my family. You guys are welcomed in my family. You guys are in my prayers and my condolences are with you and your family.
I can’t even look at pictures of food right now…….. You know being sick sucks when you’re disgusted just by looking at food posts when you’re a foodluver yourself.
I’m honestly starting to hate everybody…
I can honestly say that 2012 has been the year I have matured the most. There were lots of reconciliation, growing, learning, humility, encouragements, and love.
Honestly, this year I struggled a lot spiritually, physically, socially, and psychologically… I had my ups and downs but God remained faithful. He never let me down, abandoned me, gave up on me… Obviously in the midst of my struggles, it was hard for me to see how God was present in my life but now looking back He was there protecting me. The hurt, pain, anger, jealousy, all these things I’ve been carrying I realized that my God knows exactly how it feel and that He is my ultimate comfort. Even if I try my hardest to run away and find pleasure in the things of this world whether it’s friends, school, parents, grades, image, all these things it will never satisfy me. And that’s just the plain out truth… I learned that the hard way, but knowing that God LOOOOOVES me for me even in my darkest times, when I feel so unworthy, ugly, and a dissapointment is so comforting.
How could God love me when he knows Im a sinner, he knows I’ve betrayed, cursed, hated, yelled, turned away from Him…
The ONEprayer I half-heartedly prayed all year was to realize how much of a sinner I am. The reason why I say ‘half-heartedly’ is cause I knew if those words came out of my mouth, it would lead to a lot of heartache and struggles that I wasn’t ready for. I didn’t realize the depth of how much it cost for Jesus to die on the cross for us sinners, because I thought I was a ‘good’ person. SO as God revealed more and more how much of a sinner I am throughout the year, the more I was in disbelief the fact that God STILL loves me. Like wut? ._. It gave me a glimpse of what it means to be truly forgiven of my sins, and that sin is no longer held against me.
I am thankful for my friends that have encouraged, pushed me to grow in my relationship with God. Most importantly, I am so thankful for mah sistahs. They were the ones that listened and spoke the truth. They weren’t afraid to tell me the truth in a loving way. They were the ones that made me feel loved and truly cared for. I love you sisters.
2012 has been a wild year, but I am prepared for 2013.
It’s just one of those days where when you hear something like the shooting makes you break down in tears. Those little children who survived are scarred for life and the families must be heartbroken.
I don’t understand how someone would take the time out of their day to shoot innocent little children. My prayers are with the ones who were affected, but I just hope they will heal from this.
I’m still in utter shock and praying for them.
This will never be forgotten.
12/14/12
It feels as if my heart shattered into a million pieces.
Actions speaks louder than words. And I wish i realized that before, because i wouldn’t be so heartbroken over the little things. I cant really pinpoint when everything just changed but i don’t like how everything ended up. If i knew that we would end up like this i would’ve never told and let you do half things you did in the past. I feel so stupid, used, played, betrayed, and most of all i am hurt. The fact that i thought you were better than this makes it ten times worse.
It sucks how i easily i fall back into your arms but in all honestly i was being real when the whole time you used me.
The past is the past. I have to accept that and move on. I have better things to do in my life then to mope around. So i guess this is my closure.. Its hard but i have no choice.
You seriously need to get over yourself… Like if you actually think you’re better than everyone else, grow up. Im sick of your attitude. You are fake and i cant stand it…
How selfish am I to whine about the stupidest things? I witness with my own very eyes how hard you work for me, and you don’t ever complain how hard it is living here with the language barriers and money. It breaks my heart the fact that I can’t even repay your hard work with my grades, no matter how hard I try I can never achieve your expectation. It’s not enough. I feel as if I’m letting you down, and you don’t deserve that. The very words “Whatever you want” sounds sweet at first but the way I repay you with nothing… absolutely makes me feel unworthy to be your daughter.
I don’t know how to thank you for everything you have done for me… how humble, selfless, giving, loving, and most of all how much grace you have shown me through you words and actions.
Happy Birthday, daddy. I love you!
I feel so stuck. I’m trying to be productive, to enjoy my daily life, but I am so sick of routine and mindless meandering.
God, I know Your timing is best, and I am doing my best to understand that…but why do I feel so unsatisfied with what I have? I don’t necessarily long for material things, but I feel spiritually empty.
I know You’re all I need, Jesus. Help me to be satisfied by You.
(via n-ational--a-nthem)
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so dissapointed, ashamed, humilated, depressed, scared, and hopeless all at once. A failure to my parents, friends, teachers.
